today

the view today. beautiful. quiet.

today i am 35. i have always loved birthdays, especially my own. not today. well not last night or the night before, the idea of 35 was not sitting so kindly with me. i couldn't figure out why. i thought maybe it's because i still feel 30. 30 was fun, 30 is when my boy came, transforming me into a mother, a stronger, gentler, kinder, more confident version of myself. but where was 31? 32? 33? 34? it seems like i went from 30 to 35. i'm not sure how that happened since i don't know if it really counts as a day if you don't sleep? and i surely have not slept in 5 years. but today it is ok. 35 is just how old my body is, my spaceship for existence in this journey. 35 makes it half my life i've known my husband, and he makes everything so fun. i have a love filled marriage, amazing kids, my life is so full. maybe that's why 35 was bothering me, because it all seems to be moving so fast. and i know that someday i will be wondering where the last 35 years have gone, not just the last 5. so i will continue to enjoy every moment of this year, laughing, playing in the snow, tickling my kids, creating, and spending as much time as possible with that wonderful husband of mine, who somehow with just a few words and a timely card, made today seem like the wonderful day it is.