Sunday, November 28, 2010

in november:::::on the 28th

he's 5 today

it seems so long ago he passed through me into this world

starting his journey and mine at the same instant

or was it yesterday

i have never been the same

neither has my sense of time

glimpses of seeing millennia in either direction

i give thanks to him

for guiding me to where love exists


Monday, November 8, 2010

winds of change

i love the fall. i love all the seasons and as i grow older there is more in each one that i admire, they have become more equal in my loving of them. but the fall is more emotional to me, a little different.

we chose the fall to be married in, it's always felt like a time of new beginnings and transition to both of us. and every year when the breeze turns crisp with a hint of chill, we celebrate our togetherness as we journey through this life.

i became a mother in the fall. as the trees change i remember myself walking, walking, walking, hiking, walking, hiking.... endlessly waiting for him. it was the only time i was comfortable and so i just kept going. i walked through the guess date and then i walked for two more weeks. the day before my boy came to me i was on top of a mountain surrounded by a lake, bare trees, crisp air... willing him to join us here on earth.

halloween. it's my favorite holiday of all. i love the costumes, the making, the pretending. i love the connection to all souls past and present. 2 years ago my gram passed away on halloween. i was hiking with my 2 in the same spot i endlessly walked, waiting... pregnant, when she passed into spirt, transitioning our relationship into a different dimension.

and now on top of all the emotions that come with all of this, and the celebration of gratitude we prepare for next, we are moving. to a home we have dreamed of for years, lifetimes perhaps. after moving 12 times in my life i am excited at the prospect of moving somewhere we have longed to live and staying there, surrounded by earth and water and trees... it's right where we belong. i think. it's bittersweet. i am leaving the house both my children were born in. the way the light filters in reminds me of the moment we met. the place where i've lived the longest since i was a kid, the place my family came to be.

i've always liked lucky 13, i'm looking forward to it, this next direction that these fall winds are blowing us in.

Friday, November 5, 2010

this moment

{this moment} - Joining Soulemama's Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.