winds of change

i love the fall. i love all the seasons and as i grow older there is more in each one that i admire, they have become more equal in my loving of them. but the fall is more emotional to me, a little different.

we chose the fall to be married in, it's always felt like a time of new beginnings and transition to both of us. and every year when the breeze turns crisp with a hint of chill, we celebrate our togetherness as we journey through this life.

i became a mother in the fall. as the trees change i remember myself walking, walking, walking, hiking, walking, hiking.... endlessly waiting for him. it was the only time i was comfortable and so i just kept going. i walked through the guess date and then i walked for two more weeks. the day before my boy came to me i was on top of a mountain surrounded by a lake, bare trees, crisp air... willing him to join us here on earth.

halloween. it's my favorite holiday of all. i love the costumes, the making, the pretending. i love the connection to all souls past and present. 2 years ago my gram passed away on halloween. i was hiking with my 2 in the same spot i endlessly walked, waiting... pregnant, when she passed into spirt, transitioning our relationship into a different dimension.

and now on top of all the emotions that come with all of this, and the celebration of gratitude we prepare for next, we are moving. to a home we have dreamed of for years, lifetimes perhaps. after moving 12 times in my life i am excited at the prospect of moving somewhere we have longed to live and staying there, surrounded by earth and water and trees... it's right where we belong. i think. it's bittersweet. i am leaving the house both my children were born in. the way the light filters in reminds me of the moment we met. the place where i've lived the longest since i was a kid, the place my family came to be.

i've always liked lucky 13, i'm looking forward to it, this next direction that these fall winds are blowing us in.